Forgiveness and Blame

I'm re-reading a great book that looks at the question "what is evil?"

Most recently I am reading a chapter that says both parties involved in conflict tend to see the other as evil and themselves as fighting or acting out as a kind of necessity. People could blame themselves or share blame with the other, but this is painful; and to avoid that pain many people (especially those prone to violent or abusive conflict) put the blame label of evil on the other.

For me I find that I cross over between blaming myself for everything and blaming others. I have favorites whom I rarely blame for anything and then there are those whom I am in a habit of placing more than the correct amount of blame.

It is not a fair world with regards to forgiveness by one's neighbors. The first impression I have someone paints my view of them and makes it easier to forgive them or easy to blame them. My impressions only change in moments of stress when the person is again able to prove what kind of person they are.

Is it love that allows us to forgive, or forgiveness that allows us to love?