Monday, November 27, 2006

A post

1. Do we live outside of our bodies? Do we have a soul, and if so, does the soul take up space? Does it exist or overlay on top of the more tangible physical space? Should we believe people who say they have had out of body experiences? If so, wouldn't it be neat if everyone could learn to do that at will? For one thing, the blind could be made to see.

2. Can we corrupt our souls? If so, can we corrupt them after we are dead? Are we somehow stuck with the state of our souls at the time of our deaths? Is there reincarnation? Do animals have souls? Do insects? When a spider is squished is there a soul released to reincarnation?

3. My first memory is when I was 4 years old and said to myself "I am 4 years old and I just climbed a tree."

4. I examine my blood vessels sometimes... I look at my hands from time to time. When I'm typing like I am today it is fascinating to watch the darker tint through my skin pop up and move about with the tendons. When I flex my middle finger on my right hand one of my blood vessels moves to the side noticablly and when I unflex it returns to the original position. Its macabre and fascinating at the same time. It is so easy to imagine I have a skeleton underneath - that I am frail and very much an "object" that will work until it wears out eventually.. It reminds me of the "terminator" movies with the flesh outside and metal inside. Some people are like that. Maybe I'm one of them. Some people are the opposite too... Where they project coldness on the outside but have a soul on the inside.. But perhaps there is a layered affect - flesh(soul), bone(object), flesh(soul)...

5. I think a cluttered house provides for a cluttered mind. At least for me. It is amazing the anxiety I get when there is stuff strewn about in uneven piles. When I am done picking up the floor I feel such a sense of relief. Less is more. Space is important. It is so freeing to lay on a vacuumed carpet and just sprawl out all my limbs. Somewhat like making a snow angel in the crisp clean slate snow. I see that in my love of paper also - an empty canvas empowering me to create what I want without messing up or interfering with someone else's projects. I'd love to sprawl out with others. There's something about eventually creating the art of life together that has appeal for me. There is so much conflict and defensiveness... How beautiful it would be to have harmony. There is beauty in conflict, don't get me wrong, but I grow tired of obstacles and obstructions and would love to see two streams drawing into one another...coalescing(sp?) into one to create something beautiful. Perhaps that is how people see having children - and perhaps that's how I see it as well - a beautiful creation where the artists involved can either work together or work at odds with one another - willing for it to go in one direction or another....like in a coloring book...one colorer wanting the picture to be green and another wanting it blue and unless they can get along and work together, the picture ends up looking and being a mess. And most coloring is pretty permanent.

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